$NEARCAT · on pump.fun
near cat
Got the job. Got the polo. Got the cap. Still crying. Welcome to the team.
day 01 · onboarding
First day. Already emotional.
They gave him a cap, a polo and a login. Nobody told him where the litter box is. Tap the studio for a staff photo.
day 02 · all hands
This meeting could have been a meow.
Forty badges, one agenda, zero snacks. He nodded through all of it with wet eyes.
day 03 · performance review
Exceeds expectations. Cries anyway.
Management stacked the badges into a chart. The chart is fine. He's just like that.
Employee of every month.
Every badge in the building came back to him. He still hasn't stopped crying. HR says that's his brand now.